Today is one of those days that I feel not so happy.
Whenever I feel bad , I always take comfort from one of my super best friend. She always listen and gives me unbiased advices. In every conversation that we have, I always learned something new. Today I realized that there are different languages of love. I searched over the internet to look for these different languages of love. And I found 5! Yes there are 5 basic languages – affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
One of the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated. Affirmation is not just saying I love you to each other. Sometimes, it can be best expressed in simple, straightforward statements such as “Wow! you look good in that dress!”, “You can always make me laugh”, “I love how you made this!”, etc. Verbal compliments or words of appreciation are very powerful communicators of love.
I love this statement from a marriage counselor – on how he defines quality time.
“By “quality time,” I mean giving someone your undivided attention. I don’t mean sitting on the couch watching television together. When you spend time that way, Netflix or HBO has your attention — not your spouse. What I mean is sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, devices put away, giving each other your undivided attention. It means taking a walk, just the two of you, or going out to eat and looking at each other and talking.”- Dr. Gary Chapman
He really has a point right? It’s one of the bad effects of technology – it destroys quality time. Sometimes you and your partner we’re together physically but you both have your own thing. Time is a very precious thing. Yes, each one of us are busy and we have our different priorities, but always remember to commit your time with your partner – being with and spending time with each other is very important.
The spirit of giving is one of the many definitions of love. If you are not a natural gift giver, it’s okay. This doesn’t mean you need to do this – every. single. time. Gifts can be simple. It doesn’t necessarily requires money. We are very familiar with “it’s the thought that counts!” It’s the effort you exert and the thought that you remember him/her.
Acts of Service
If I’m going to categorized my language of love – it is definitely acts of service. I express my love to my husband by serving him. Doing things what he wants me to do, or what he needs. Cooking his meal, washing the dishes, preparing his things, etc.- doing these makes me happy and this is how I express my love for him. With this language of love, it really defines the saying “actions speak louder than words”.
For some, this is their primary love language. For some specially to woman, it is an assurance that their partner loves them. For married couple, physical touch includes holding hands, kissing, embracing and sexual intercourse. These are all ways of communicating love for each other. But it is important that you know how to differentiate the touch of love and lust – it’s a completely different thing.
Each and everyone of us speaks different love languages. We just need to know them. Discover. Learn. Practice. We show our love in our own language. It is important that your partner knows your language of love. To make your relationship work, you must know how to fill in and understand each other’s shortcoming. We must practice and learn how to love selflessly. Whatever you do, do it from your heart. You just do because it feels so good to give of yourself. Because LOVE is about giving after all.
How about you, what is your language of love?